he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
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I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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