I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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