i permit you to call me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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