last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
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And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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