She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
