addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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