redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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