new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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