I think im going to throw up on grandma
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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