He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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