Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
