Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
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did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.