Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level