sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!