Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.