girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.