they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
is that a dick in a sweater?