listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.