If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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