IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
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Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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