No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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