I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
