he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize