RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?