Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
no, he came in my armpit
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.