I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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