do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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