when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
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I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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