Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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