found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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