PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize