When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
