Im at strip club and am horny
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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