I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize