I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize