After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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