Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize