Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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