woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize