I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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