I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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