You can't special order awesome
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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