Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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