I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
