Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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