"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize