youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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