they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
