She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize
