I will die if light touches me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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