either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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