We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
