You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
