The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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