please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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