We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
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Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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