There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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