respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
